Author: PuddyTat

Now that some time has passed let’s address the issues that lead to this site being here in the first place and answer a couple of the questions I was asked back in October of 2020 when I posted the AMA. I’ll follow up with a video since I know a bunch of you don’t read anything that’s more than 5 syllables long.

1. Arianna and I bump into each other in Gypsy’s live stream and we vibe instantly
2. Arianna links up with Victoria (who I knew before they ever met)
3. I become a sounding board for Arianna and her issues in her relationship with Victoria
4. Arianna starts love bombing me while at the same time lying about me to Victoria and others
   • She’s telling me that she wants to be my girlfriend
   • She’s telling Victoria that I’m the one coming on to her (meaning Arianna) when she’s the one coming on to me
   • She starts telling a whole bunch of people that I’m her sugar daddy or some shit
5. She and I start “dating” with the understanding that she’s bad at relationships
   • One of her tricks was to tell me over and over again that she was bad at relationships and wanted help being better. She loved the fact that my wife and I had been together for over 15 years because she’d never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months
   • What I didn’t realize at the time was that this was just one of her many lies to keep me from questioning her abusive behavior
6. She goes to Playlist in 2019 and fucks Dino
   • I finally got confirmation from other people who were at the house. Arianna and Dino hooked up at Playlist 2019, not a problem right? Well the only problem is that Arianna was *my* girlfriend and not Dino’s. Arianna and I had an open relationship, she could have fucked Dino all she wanted with no issues so why did she feel the need to lie to me about it? More than that, why would she tell me to support Dino and help him get his Top Badge? My “Girl friend” is fucking another guy, lying to me about it, and asking me to help support him because “he’s just a really cool guy”???
7. She gets envious of the attention I get from the women she’s attracted to
   • On more than one occasion she got upset because someone she was attracted to started coming on to me
   • One time in particular, I started talking to a woman and discovered that Arianna had tried to pursue her about a year earlier.
8. She starts classic narcissistic devaluing
9. She fucks yet another guy behind my back, this time it’s Dylan
10. I pull back from her and her streams because I’m sick of her bullshit and abuse
11. I end up in the hospital and almost die
    • She’s too busy fucking Dylan to check on me
12. I walk away from her bullshit and go ‘no contact’
13. She has her “friends” attack me and start spreading lies about me
14. I call out her lies and bullshit and to deflect from the facts she starts claiming that I was trying to get her son taken away from her
15. I start getting death threats
16. I ask her to stop the bullshit
17. She refuses
18. I set up this website so I don’t have to kill someone who has bought into Arianna’s lies
19. She claims that I’m obsessed with her
20. I eventually work my way out from under her mountainous pile of bullshit
21. Mesheala (now Arianna’s “girlfriend”) starts lying about me after I turn her down for a hookup and cut her out of my life. no shit… go look at the post

We begin with a letter and the response thereto. After that, a bit of conjecture, then we finish with what I like to call “Meesh’s Pieces”.

If you’re going to lie about me you might want to do so with something I can’t disprove.

Hey, Meesh you also said:

You want it to stop just leave me be and all will be good I just want you out of my life no drama just leave me alone please.

Well, right back at you. I’m the one who kicked you out of my life. Then you went on a little gossip spree telling lies about me and I let you . I didn’t say a single fucking thing for weeks. Then you start claiming that you’re going to see me in court and get me thrown in jail as if I did something wrong to you. That’s where I draw the line.

Let’s remember how we got here: You, started telling me one thing and then going behind my back and saying other shit. Then you started lying about me to people just like Ari did. I’ve already shown one of your lies and I’ll continue showing others.

You want it to stop? Just publicly recant all the bullshit you’ve been saying about me and then formally apologize. I just want you out of my life. No drama. Just stop being a lying POS like Ari, please.

And yes, you are stupid. I’m just too polite to bring it up because I was raised with manners. But since you brought it up: trust me, you’re about as stupid as they cum… get it… because you’re a… ohhh never mind. But seriously: yeah you are

stu·pid [ /ˈst(y)o͞opəd/ ]

adj. given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stupid

The following is a copy of the email message I just sent to both Meesh and Arianna.

From: Puddy Tat <bigblackpuddytat@gmail.com>
4:08 PM (42 minutes ago)
To: mesh********@gmail.com, ariannaf***om@gmail.com
Subject: Trying to put an end to the bullshit


@Arianna,  congratulations. You’ve finally succeeded in destroying the friendship Mesheala and I had. You’re a shitty human but at least you’re winning when it comes to lies and bullshit. Oh BTW.. thanks for linking yourself to her in your profile because it makes it easier to expose your lies and BS.

@Meesh, I’ve been trying to deescalate the BS between us since before it started. I don’t know why you would believe anything that Arianna has said about me given that she has lied to you repeatedly. She’s been trying to drive a wedge between us ever since she saw how close we were at VidCon.

Remember that conversation we had where we pieced together how she told you not to talk to me when you came to get your shit and she lied to me about you NOT telling her where you were and what you were doing?


She’s lied about me this whole time and you know it ( here’s a refresher in case you’ve forgotten: https://www.ariannafolsom.com/in-the-meantime/ ). 

Back in April when you started getting really flirty with me and I asked you what was up you came at me talking about us hooking up. I respected you enough to tell you why I thought it was a bad idea. Has anyone and I mean ANYONE ever shown you that level of respect? You know how I felt about you and anyone else would have jumped at the chance to get down with you, maybe that’s why you turned on me, I don’t know. 


The point is, you know what kind of person I am. Why would you buy into some bullshit from someone who you know is fucked in the head and lies all the time?


I’ve been avoiding airing out all our shit but your escalation has painted me into a corner. Your comment about me going to jail “for the shit he did” puts me into the same dangerous position that Ari did when she started lying about me trying to get her kid taken. I’m not going to play games. I’m telling you that I do not want to make you an enemy. We’ll never be friends again but we can both just walk away from this. I can’t do that if you keep putting my life in danger with reckless statements.


You’re being manipulated by a master manipulator. You’ve seen her do it to other people and now she’s doing it to you. Hell, you told me exactly what she was doing and how. Remember how she lied to you about the conversation she and I were supposed to have before PlayList and she told you that I was trying to get back with her then I showed you the text messages that proved I wasn’t?  I only wanted to have an honest conversation and she refused to tell the truth. 


What about whet when she told you that I was talking shit about you after VidCon 2019? Remember me sending you the text messages between her and myself and the section of the conversation I had with her where you came up? It all proved that she lied to you over and over again. 


Whatever it is that you think I’ve done is a lie. Ask yourself the following questions: If I did something so bad to her, why did you JUST recently find out about it? She told you about her fucking Dylan and the random hookup in Florida and the bullshit about her using me. She let you know the FBI thing was all bullshit. Why would she NOT tell you if I did something fucked up to her RIGHT when it happened? I haven’t spent any time or energy on her or the site in MONTHS. I was ready to walk away from it all back in August when you told me you had a recording of her talking about fucking Dylan and admitting to using me and lying about me. The certificate for the domain expired in November and I was happy to be done with it. Her bullshit on UpLive and you buying into her lies has proven to me that I can’t trust her to just move on. She’ll always lie because she’s petty and small minded, which you know. Why you’d choose to involve yourself with her is beyond me.



I never wanted to fight with you. I had to cut you off when it became clear that you were lying to me and being disrespectful, that’s it. Even after that I’ve been protecting you from your own irrational hot-headed behavior but that’s at an end now. Either we can hash this out and agree to avoid escalating things or I’ll do what I have to do to protect myself. Your call


BTW.. I’ll be posting this message online for everyone to see what I’ve said since I can’t trust either of you NOT to be on some bullshit

I’m finally getting around to compiling the questions and answers from back in November. My apologies for the delay. Here’s a sneak peak at SOME of the content that will be used in the responses.

Soooo Jelly is one of the “loves of [her] life”? Hrmmm Let’s see what Jelly had to say:

Is Arianna a lying piece of shit? Hrmm what did Jelly have to say about that?

And don’t forget this bit about her being a “lesbian” who lies to hook up with men:

The answers to the questions I was asked back between October an November will be published but it’s honestly a very low priority for me. First I had an equpment failure when one of my iPad Pros died on me. It’s the one that had most of my video/audio clips on it and even though I have backups, I didn’t have a spare unit to restore to and do editing from. I’ve since replaced the dead iPad Pro but I’ve been busy with other shit that actually matters.

The whole reason I was doing the AMA in the first place was to 1) answer questions once and for all so that no one ever had to listen to me explain what happened (again) and 2) address some key concerns raised by people who I care about. I’ll eventually get the answers posted but I’m working on bigger things right now and talking about my piece of shit ex and her piece of shit shenanigans just isn’t that compelling to me right now. If it hadn’t been for Jelly telling me that she was going to send me a secretly recorded conversation with Arianna admitting to fucking Dylan (thus cheating on me), lying to me, lying to everyone about me being her sugar daddy, and a bunch of other shit, I would have been done here long ago. I kept waiting for Jelly to send me the file and she always had an excuse for why she wouldn’t/couldn’t send it to me. In the end I stopped fucking with Jelly because I got sick of her bullshit and lies (not related to this issue). it would have been nice to post audio of Arianna talking about fucking Dylan after she made such a spectacle of the whole “if we did have sex then he raped me because I’m a lesbian” thing but whatevs. In the end, I know what’s real and I never started this site to expose her and her bullshit. I started it to defend myself because I was getting death threats because Arianna couldn’t accept the fact that I didn’t want her in my life anymore.

I’ll get the answers posted eventually but be patient as I’m launching a few new business ventures and they take priority over this stuff. I’ve been healing from this shit since June. It’s not instantaneous, especially because it triggered PTS over shit that happened way back when I was in high school and someone tried to kill me because a girl lied about me (I’ll cover that in the AMA responses).

Anyway, If you’re here for drama and intrigue, you should probably find a hobby or something.

I’m not sure whether I’ll go through and elucidate all of the bullshit with Ariana for the Year in Review but I know that people have questions about me, her, the drama, etc. Here’s your chance to get your questions answered.

Why?

1. There are things I wish I’d known about Arianna and her patterns of abuse. This is a chance for me to help the next person
2. Arianna is really good at keeping people from talking to each other. She talks about me all the time and makes me out to be some mythical figure. Her’s a chance for everyone to see that I’m just a normal person. You can talk to me. We can have a civil exchange
3. Lastly, I’m moving on to other things. When I started this site it was simply to put up my side of the story because Arianna lied about me so much that people were threatening my life. Since then I’ve shown how Arianna repeatedly lied and vilified me for no reason. There’s nothing else for me to prove here. I’m not taking down the site but I am going to focus on other things and this is a good way for me to close this chapter. I’ll answer any questions then get on with the rest of my life.

How can I get my question answered?

You can call and leave a voicemail message or send SMS: 517.742.2552

Yes, this is really one of my numbers. No, it’s not my main number. It won’t actually ring my phone, so all calls to that number will go to voicemail. I won’t be looking at text messages until it’s time to answer questions so don’t expect a response.

You can send me a message on SnapChat: DoubleOPuddy

You can send email: BigBlackPuddyTat@gmail.com

I’ll hold two live streams where you can ask questions, live. I’ve unblocked everyone, even the Alpaca and Arianna. Everyone can come an play along. The live sessions will be on Sunday October 4th (between 9p and 11p Eastern) and Sunday October 11th (same times).

Some time after October 1st I’ll put up a page with responses. I’ll respond to every question I get between now and November 15th.

The rules are:

• Don’t be a dick. While I’m personally inured, people around me tend to get upset when others act like dicks. For the sake of having healthy discussion, I ask that you conduct yourself with a modicum of civility. If you can’t manage that, you’ll be kicked/banned/blocked.
• Anything that could reasonably be construed as a threat of bodily harm, harassment, incitement to violence or anything else of the sort will be reported to the authorities irrespective of who the target is.
• I will respect your privacy: If you don’t want to be identified. just say so and I’ll leave your name out when I respond. Obviously that doesn’t work if you come into my live stream and ask there.
• Off limit topics:
  • None — you can ask anything but that doesn’t mean you’ll get a satisfactory answer.
• Questions probably not worth asking:
  • Anything dehumanizing — While I love good japes and gibes as much as the next homonid, the point of this little exercise is to answer questions that actually might matter to people.
  • Anything related to the people who made threats against me — I’m not going to incriminate myself.
  • Questions about who I hate, who I’m mad at, or whether I plan to get back at anyone — First, I’m not going to incriminate myself. Second, I don’t hate anyone tied to all of this. I don’t care enough about Arianna to hate her. Ruby (Dabs) is a piece of shit not worth commenting on, Dylan might be a great guy but to me he’s been a piece of shit so as far as I know, he’s a piece of shit. MoonShine is so vapid, she makes dirt look scholarly. Alpaca… well I don’t believe in being cruel to animals so… no comment.
  • Questions about me being willing to forgive — If someone did something and they apologize, I’m willing to forgive them. Forgiving doesn’t mean I’ll trust them but we could at least get past the transgressions. Alpaca could apologize for attacking me for no reason and I’d forgive her. We’d never be friends but I could forgive. Opie could apologize for saying stupid shit and I’d forgive him. Brian L (Ari’s bouncer not the TopBadge) could apologize for being a little bitch and I’d forgive him. Ruby could apologize for being a piece of shit and I’d forgive her. I’d never have any of those people in my circle again but I could forgive their shitty behavior.
  • Questions that would ‘out’ people who are still in Arianna’s circle — I get messages every week from people who Arianna thinks are her friends. Some record their conversations with her, some give me summaries of the latest lies she’s trying to push, etc. It’s funny and sad that she has no idea how many people in her circle see right through her bullshit. To be clear, these are people who sought me out because she lied to them in the beginning, they bought into it and when they realized that she was lying they contacted me 1) to apologize and 2) to give me a heads up. I won’t betray their confidence

It’s coming up on one year since I first tried to step away from my narcissistic abuser, Arianna Folsom. Since then, I’ve dealt with much in the way of harassment (at her behest), death threats, anxiety, social isolation, and more. When I started this website it was with a heavy heart. At the time my understanding was:

• Arianna had cheated on me with another man and was covering it up by gaslighting me
• Arianna was lying about me, the nature of our relationship, and my character and conduct to her new conquests (Nugget/Nik, and AlpacaAnna)
• Because of the above lies, Nugget and I grew closer while Alpaca decided to attack and harass me without provocation.
• When I published pictures of my message exchanges with Arianna showing that she’d lied to Anna and Nugget, Arianna tried to bully me into silence.
• When the bullying didn’t work, she started claiming that I was trying to get her son taken away. She put on a very sappy sympathy exhibit for her viewers on MeetMe talking about me constantly, claiming that I was harassing her when in fact it was her and her viewers that were harassing me.
• At some point (in November) one of her viewers found one of my YouTube channels and made a death threat that was immediately taken down by YouTube but I saw the notification before the message was removed.
• I started getting a slew of death threats that I first wrote off as keyboard commando bullshit then I get a very personal threat sent to me that included specific details about my life and information about my nieces, who I do not discuss online.
• At that point I went to the police and turned over my phones (three of them) so they could do what they needed to do investigate the threats.
• I notified Arianna (around November 12th) that I had to turn over my phone to the authorities because, her claims that I was trying to get her son taken away from her lead to me turning over my phones to the authorities in multiple different jurisdictions and any one of them might happen see the text messages from her that discussed the times she drove drunk to pick up her son from school or the time she left him standing outside for hours because she was too high and fucked up to remember to go get him. In short: her actions created a situation where she could actually loose her son.
• On November 15th, I registered ariannafolsom.com to put up my side of the story because Arianna was too enamored of the attention she was getting from playing the victim. She’s a narcissist and needs to be the center of attention. She couldn’t care less if her actions lead to harm for me, all she wanted was to bask in the glow of those rallying around her because of her lies.

Less than a week after posting my first article the death threats stopped (largely). Apparently there was enough there that contradicted her version of events that the few people she’d tricked into threatening me took a step back.

November is just around the corner and I’ve been thinking about all the shit I’ve been through just because a shitty person feels so bad about herself that she needs to visit wrath upon those who get fed up with her bullshit and walk away from her. When we were together I bent over backwards to take care of her. When we broke up, I knew that she’d fucked Dylan but I let her lie go unchallenged because I don’t care who she fucks. I do care about being disrespected and I wasn’t going to tolerate disrespect, so I left. I wished her well and I thought that would be the end of it. Instead Alpaca fires off at me (again unprovoked), I try to work it out with Arianna and her lies lead to the situation we’re in now.

Since the breakup, I’ve discovered so much more about the ways she was lying and manipulating and I plan to discuss and dissect some of the things I found out:

• Her lying about me pursuing her as a GF when she’s the one who pursued a relationship with me
• Her lying about me messaging her all the time and being obsessed with her to her ex Victoria (we had conversations that clarified exactly how Arianna would use triangulation and gossip as a wedge between us)
• Her lying to Anna about me being controlling and sycophantic
• Her fucking Dylan (I discovered audio of them fucking that got caught by the tablet I bought for her son. The Amazon Alexa recordings ended up in my amazon account)
• Her lying to a slew of women she was trying to hook up with claiming either that I was just a fan who wanted to support her (making me sound like a fucking sugar daddy) or completely denying that we had any type of relationship at all
• The ways in which she talks shit about everyone in her life (and I do mean everyone) to make you predisposed to believe her future lies about them. She wants to stay in between you and everyone else so you can’t get together and compare notes to uncover her lies
  • One example is her talking about someone in the fashion industry named Michael Bui. She told me this sob story about how he used his wife Mida to get her into bed in a threesome knowing that she (Arianna) is into women (and presumably not into men although that’s a falsehood. She still insists that she’s a lesbian despite carrying on three secret sexual relationships with men during the time we were together). According to the story she told, during the threesome Michael was pushy and didn’t respect her boundaries. Afterward, according to Arianna, he kept rubbing up against her and hovering around her making her feel uncomfortable while they were at this industry event in Vegas. She said he kept pressuring her for sex absent the participation of Mida. Now, it’s important for me to say that Arianna is probably lying about that whole thing. Michael Bui probably has a completely different view of what happened and I’d bet that Mida’s and Michael’s views are closer to reality than the story Arianna told. So why would she do that? Because 1) it’s good for sympathy and 2) it gives her cover. If I buy into her version of events that I am less likely to be friendly with Michael and Mida who are both in her industry. She can keep the truth from coming out by staying in the middle, telling them things about me and telling me things about them. She’s a really good manipulator.

It’s emotionally draining to talk about some of this because while I quickly let go of my attachment to Arianna, it took a while for me to stop reacting to her ploys for more narcissistic supply from me. She’d do something and I’d react. Now there’s nothing she can do to cause any response other than me sending a packet of prepared documents to CPS, Orange County Sheriff’s dept, San Diego Sheriff’s dept, and the FBI. I’ve stopped caring about her wholesale. I don’t care about how she’s doing, what she’s doing, or anything else. I don’t care if she’s happy, sad, depressed, whatever. Unfortunately, I’m still recovering from the toll of having to deal with a narcissistic abuser’s smear campaign.

I’ve been working on a few projects that are about to launch and it would be nice to completely put all of this behind me. I don’t want to have to maintain a website about my crazy piece of shit ex and all the things she’s lied about or put me through. I’ve reached out to Arianna multiple times to try to put an end to the bullshit. I let it be known that I have no interest in being friends but we could at least stop wasting people’s time with her lies about me and me needing to tell the truth in a public forum (this web site) unfortunately she insists on holding on to her lies.

As a result she, ironically, is keeping this site up. This site would have been gone long ago if she’d just told the truth. The last time I made an offer to get past all of this was around May and she decided to lie about me, again claiming that I was obsessed with her. Since I can’t trust her not to continue to lie, the only way this site will get taken down is if she makes a public statement acknowledging all of the bullshit she’s responsible for and I do mean all of it. I know things now that she would never think I’d know of because after the site went up, people who had seen what a shitty person she is started sending me droves of text messages, recorded conversations, clips from her live streams, and more. So a half-assed partial admission won’t work. It would have to be the whole shebang and it would have to be very public. Her narcissism won’t allow her to make such an admission so this site will likely be up for years to come. I run my own servers and just renewed the hosting agreements at the various data centers I use for the next 5 years.

If you’re pissed off that there’s a site about her and you think it should be taken down, then encourage her to come clean. It costs me nothing to maintain this site so I can leave it on autopilot for the next decade or more.

Whoever is behind the lyingPOS account on instagram, please stop trying to involve me in your bullshit. I want nothing whatsoever to do with that madness. Yes, Arianna is a lying POS and should own up to her bullshit but shoving it in peoples faces is not my thing. I set up a website and kept my mouth shut. I don’t condone going around and pushing your shit on others.

I don’t care that you’re still in her circle and she doesn’t know who you are. I don’t care that you have more recordings for me. I don’t care that you have proof of other crimes she’s committed or that she’s used and lied about other people.

If it’s who I think it is (based on the apology comment that I refuse to publish or respond to) then you were part of the problem in the beginning with the death threats and bullshit. If you want to turn yourself in to the police, by all means, be my guest. If you want to implicate Arianna in inciting people to harass me, talk to the cops not me.

You do your thing but leave me TF out of it.

Update: here let me try to be a bit more compassionate. Look, I get that you may feel betrayed. You trusted someone who you thought was being victimized and found out that it was all lies. Ok. If you did fucked up shit because you believed them then THAT problem is with you not them. Stop trying to set people up and either confront them or walk away. Trust me, walking away from her is life changing.

Now leave me TF out of your shit

This is the kind of person Arianna is. After lying about me for over a year and actively inciting people to attack and harass me, she thinks I should take down the site just because she hasn’t said shit about me in 3 months. That BTW is a lie. The whole not saying shit about me thing is pure fiction.

Just a couple of weeks ago she went on a 20 minute rant about how she was fed up with people who go to her live streams, catch her lying, and then screen record her lying and send it to me. That wasn’t back in May (3 months ago) that was 3 weeks ago at the beginning of July. In that rant she called me all sorts of names and even trotted out a new fiction since everyone now knows about her old lies. I’ll spare you the details.

So the lying piece of shit wants me to take down the site that I was forced to erect because of her piece of shit lies.

Let me say that again: She, Arianna, is a lying piece of shit. The only reason this site exists is because she lied about me so much that people started making death threats, there was zero reason for this site to exist otherwise and she knows that. She knew it at the time and I even tried to have her put an end to the BS before it got to the point of me needing to create a website with her name to get the truth out. Now, she thinks that 1) I’m dumb enough to believe that she’s not still spreading lies about me and 2) I should take down the site just because of a 3 month period where she alleges that she hasn’t talked (and presumably, as a result, hasn’t lied) about me.

She hasn’t owned up to the lies. She hasn’t recanted the bullshit. All she’s done is play the victim and act like I’m the unreasonable one because I had the audacity to stand up for myself and not accept her bullshit.

How can you assert that you’ve not said anything about me for 3 months when two weeks ago you were lying about me (again), this website, and “certain agencies” saying that I was “really big” and you should just block me? You claim to have been bullied all because people found out that you’re a lying piece of shit and instead of trying to be a better person you lie more?

Arianna, if you really want me to take down the site all you have to do is stop being a piece of shit and recant all the lies. I mean every single one. Go read Comment and Questions let me know when you’ve uploaded your video and we can talk. Until then, no… I’m not taking it down period. You can stop wondering now.

KThxBai

Arianna’s lies about me have their origin in racist stereotypes of black men as aggressive, hyper-sexualized, controlling, abusive, and philandering. Here are just a few examples of the racist undertones in her Narcissistic Smear Campaign against me. To be clear, I’m not claiming that she is a racist. That doesn’t mean she’s not willing to be racist to get people to hate me just because I got sick of her bullshit and refuse to have her in my life.

Update 2020.10.07: Wow that blew up quickly. I’ve been inundated with comments on this one article. Most of the articles get little response from the public but this one got something like 40 comments within the first 48 hours. While I’m pleased that so many people wanted to let me know they support me, please refrain from making statements that could be construed as a threat. Also, if you’re going to take the time to comment please say something more than “racist bitch”. After the 12th one it get’s old. I’m still wading through them all so please don’t feel neglected if I haven’t published or responded to yours (yet).

These are some articles you should probably read before you continue with this particular post. I’ve added a few videos for those of you who can’t read. They don’t convey the same depth of the issue but they hit the high notes:

• White Lies Matter
• Because They Can
• History of Terror
• Blame a Black Man Syndrome
• [Video] Emmett Till
• [Video] Dangerous for the Black Man
• [Video] Blame it on a Black Man

That is Arianna in her own words acknowledging that she lied about all the bullshit between us. She manufactured drama, encouraged people to harass and attack me all because I got sick of her bullshit and refused to be her friend

Here’s a message exchange she and I had back in November where she even acknowledges that I was “…good to [her] for the time we were together…”

But she got “upset how everything ended and that [I] don’t want to [be her friend anymore]” She got offended when I blocked her and started all this bullshit. Let’s pause and think about that for a minute. She lied to me, disrespected me, fucked another guy behind my back and lied about it, then told people that I was harassing her and trying to get her kid taken away all because I refused to be her friend AFTER she treated me like shit.

None of that is news though. So why the new post? Well this all relates to the growing realization that people of color get unfair treatment and that some people who call themselves allies use the pre-existing racial bias that exists in society to their advantage. In short, Arianna played on racial bias in her unwarranted attacks on me and my character.

She knew that if she played the victim, I’d be thought of as the aggressor just because she is a “skinny white chick” and I’m a “big black dude”. Here I am telling her about the racist nature of the attacks and death threats I was dealing with

She acts like this is all one big joke but she fully understands that what she’s doing is dangerous….to me. She put my life in danger with her bullshit racist antics.

Update (September 6, 2020): You can click on the YouTube link above and watch the whole exchange. At the end of said exchange we agreed to talk about things offline. Here’s some of what was said in the text exchange a couple of days after the video above

• 

• So she acknowledges that she lied about me but isn’t willing to call it that. She just says “… yes. There are things I said…when I was drinking and whatnot”.
• Instead of coming clean and letting it be known that I never did anything wrong to/with her, she says “I’ve made it more and more clear lately that I do not harbor any hatrd towards you anymore.”

All of that seemed to go out the window when I let it be known that 1) I knew she fucked Dylan and 2) that I wasn’t willing to be her friend.

End September 6, 2020 Update

A month after this conversation she was back at it with some very dangerous words.

So here she manufactures drama about me being obsessed with her when she had agreed to drop the drama and bullshit but was continuing to spread lies about me. Everything she said is a lie. She knows its a lie but more than that she knows its dangerous to me as a black male. Just a month prior I’d told her about the racial threats I receive when she does this type of shit. But she goes all in on the EXACT same lies from before

Did you catch how she put on a black affectation when she told that lie? “..[You] best to make sure …” Why would she start talking like I’m Nigga Jim if she weren’t trying to play on the sympathies of people who see black men as bad and white women as good? What better way to whip up a frenzy about a black man than claiming that he’s threatened a white woman and her innocent little white child? The only problem is that it’s JUST not true. Here’s the message that was actually sent.

That last bit is “her being too drunk to take care of Damien and everything else”. The woman who got so drunk that she left her son at school waiting for hours is claiming that I threatened to get her son taken away. Interesting that she doesn’t talk about giving drugs to minors (which she’s done) or driving drunk to pick up her son from school (which she’s done multiple times). She wants people to hate me and uses racial bias in the pursuit of getting back at me for walking away from her bullshit. She’s the one who started all the drama and she fully understands that I’ve done nothing wrong to her.

Here’s more of her racially backed bullshit:

She’s very clearly talking about me. She claims that she was nervous and was having panic attacks just thinking that I might show up. Let’s see what she said just a few weeks prior when I spoke to her.

Does that sound like a person having a panic attack or scared to attend the same event she JUST asked me if I’d be attending?

She’s mastered the art of being a lying and manipulative piece of shit. Part of that for her is saying one thing to me and another thing to everyone else. What she says though is a play on a common phenomena that’s JUST NOW coming to light for the rest of the world: White people have weaponized “I’m feeling threatened”. Everytime she goes off on one of her fib filled, vitriolic, temper tantrum like tirades, she’s putting my life in danger. She wants to win though. Again, this is all like a big game to her and she wins when she gets more people to be on her side than mine. Who cares that it’s all lies coming from her. Who cares that I’ve only ever been a loving partner to her and left her alone when she started treating me like shit. Who cares that I’ve never done ANYTHING wrong to her. She’s upset because I won’t be her friend so I have to be destroyed. The fact that I may die because of the racial undertones of her bullshit is just a bonus. it makes her feel like people care about her enough to do things on her say so. In the words of one of the commenters here “she trying to get a nigga lynched”.

For those that didn’t know, most of the videos posted here on this site came from the people who watch Arianna’s streams on MeetMe. The people she thinks are her ‘fans’ turn around and send me things all the time and now I’m asking for them to stop. I’ve already told my friends to stop bringing her BS around me but there are a bunch of people who know of me only because she constantly talks about me (like she’s obsessed or something) and they tracked me down to send me clips of her lunacy.

I appreciate that so many of you find it entertaining to watch someone meltdown and self destruct but I do not. I do not care about Arianna and her bullshit. I got out and suggest you do the same. Her rants, her lies, her drama, her fake tears and everything else is just part of a cry for attention from a deeply insecure, alcoholic, substance-abusing person with zero coping skills for navigating this world as an adult.

There’s absolutely nothing I have to gain by watching or listening to her, ZERO. Best case scenario: she apologizes and owns up to the bullshit she’s responsible for. It’ll never happen but if it did, it would be just another manipulation tactic. She feeds off of attention. Stop feeding into her delusions.

The second best thing I ever did in my life was to stop caring about Arianna completely. I can’t tell you how freeing it was. I don’t hate her because I just don’t care enough to hate her. It’s a great place to be in and it’s here I plan to stay so don’t darken my days with BS and drama she’s not worth it.

With all of the idiocy and vitriol from Arianna, it’s easy to loose sight of the reason this site is here in the first place. She would have you believe that I’m obsessed with her but a glance at any of the content here tells you that’s not the case. She’s a lying narcissistic abuser and her lies resulted in me receiving death threats. That’s it. I’ve reached out multiple times to try to put an end to the enmity but she’s too small minded to accept a detente with someone who’s not willing to buy her bullshit.

My conditions were simple 1) be honest 2) retract all the bullshit you’ve said about me. Note here that when I’m talking about bullshit, I just mean the lies. I’m willing to own any and every thing that I’ve done, unlike her.

This is the closest she’s come to coming clean about all her bullshit. Note that I say “closest she’s come” because even in this conversation she tried to lie about why and how the things mentioned came to pass

So here she admits to throwing me under the bus after all the things I did for her just because she wanted to get a new girlfriend. Think about that for a minute and let it sink in. I told her later (in this same conversation) that I was willing to have another conversation if we could be honest about things but she insisted on lying about things that (unbeknownst to her) I had proof of. When it became clear that I wasn’t buying her bullshit she started back to assassinating my character.

This from the same person who said this to me RIGHT after disrespecting our relationship in early October (3 months before the video above).

This is how she treats the person who she claim to “…care about…a lot, more than anyone…”.

So what happens now?

Honestly, I don’t know. All I ever wanted was for her to be out of my life and, like most Narcissistic Abusers, she couldn’t accept that. Here’s a short clip from a video describing Smear Campaigns by people like her.

So where do we go from here?

I’ve cut Arianna out of my life and cut out the people who hang around her that kept bringing me her bullshit. She’s lost at least 4 friendships behind her actions (she’s only been confronted by two or three of them, the other(s) just peeled off silently). I’m not giving her any more of my attention. I may choose to continue documenting my experiences here both for my own catharsis as well as to serve as a warning to those who might be tempted to enter her orbit but I’m done with her, the drama, and the baggage.

I’d recommend that she get counseling for her narcissistic abusive tendencies specifically. She’d have to WANT to be better and be honest with her therapist which I think it unlikely. Either way I don’t ultimately care because I’m not getting back into the ring with her. If she can’t leave me be, I’ll just send all of the evidence I have of her committing crimes to the Police and call it a night. Trust me, I have plenty. Like scores.

Either way I’m not talking to her, not messaging people who talk to her or anything else. I don’t want an apology, I don’t care if she’s happy or sad. I just don’t care at all about her. I’m in a good place with me and that’s all that really matters.

If you consider yourself a friend to her, I’d recommend you protect yourself by watching these videos and then being on the lookout for warning signs

Here’s the text of the message I actually sent:

Save your time and breath. You apparently never cared for me the way I cared for you and I gave you multiple outs over and over again. You should have told me instead of having me dangling out there like a fucking fool. You strung me along and let me tell you about my plans for our future when you never took us seriously in the first place.

If you can’t talk to me now, when I’m telling you that I NEED to hear your voice because I’m lost, then I’ll obviously never matter enough to be worth your time.

Since Arianna told us that you’re on the case, I want to thank you for taking the time to investigate and make sure that justice is served. The aforementioned incident happened at the MeetGroup’s rooftop party at VidCon in July of 2019. I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations for that has not passed. If you need a material witness, give me a call, I’m sure you already have the number(s).

In the mean time I’m calling it a night. I’ve got about 5 hours of video to sort through and edit and I’m sick of dealing with her for now. I was hoping to have this done by Saturday but I’m putting EVERYTHING out so you can make up your own mind about her BS allegations.

remember when I said “shit just got real”?

Oh another thing: She apparently tried to kill herself in front of her son so maybe you want to have your psychological team talk to her and him to make sure he’s ok. You know, as a concerned citizen.

When you do, have someone evaluate Damien, please make sure that they ask questions to determine his attachment profile. Because he doesn’t feel validated and has to compete for her attention (against her live streaming on MeetMe, prescription drug (ab)use, recreational drug use, and excessive drinking) he sometimes acts out JUST to get her attention. Becasue she has shitty coping skills she often calls him names and yells at him.

Sometimes even when he’s obviously done nothing wrong.

She even has physical abuse ideation, apparently:

In the past she’d been drunk around Damien so often that he’d have to try to wake her up to do normal adult things like feed him (he was 5 at the time). Now that he’s older he can probably handle more things on his own like getting to/from school since she likes to get so drunk that she abandons him from time to time or is “forced” to drive drunk to pick him up

There was that one time she beat herself up about being too drunk and high to pick him up from school and him sitting out there alone for hours until his aunt could get him. I hear that can affect ones attachment style but then I’m not a psychologist so maybe I’m mistaken

When you’re done with that ask me about how she abuses her prescription Xanax and lies to her pharmacy about being short a couple of pills so she has extras. I think she may have a problem.

If anyone has other examples of Arianna and Damien’s interactions that you think would be beneficial for a child psychologist to evaluate, please contact me at CPS@ariannafolsom.com

This is what Arianna has claimed about me most recently (as of mid April, 2020). This is here simply for reference because I’ll refer back to some of these in subsequent posts.

All of this is simply an attempt by Arianna to gain access to the audio of her having sex with Dylan. She’s probing to see who can give her the password so she can gauge how to respond and attempt to discredit me. EVERYTHING she asserts below is a lie but then again it’s easy to lie and just let others deal with the fall out.

Update (5/11/2020): Arianna REALLY doesn’t want you to know that she’s a “lesbian” who fucks guys. She (or someone on her behalf) had YouTube remove the original video embedded below. Too bad for her that I always have contingency plans.

Interesting the things that come out when they’re drunk.

This is a note that I’d sent to Arianna in September of 2019 just before we broke up. This elucidates several issues and insecurities that she later used against me because she’s a manipulative piece of shit.

I’m now apprehensive about bringing up things based on the way our conversation went after VidCon. Never the less, I have to look out for my own psychological wellbeing and it’s not fair for me to avoid communicating. 

Standard Disclaimer here

========================

I’m not leaving you. I’m not going anywhere. I feel it’s important for you to know where my head is with regard to certain things and everything I say is in the spirit of love, sharing, and openness.

Me and my insecurities and uncertainty

======================================

Before VidCon I felt like I knew where I stood and who I was to you. All of that was thrown out the window when things went down the way they did over the course of several days. It wasn’t one thing it was a bunch of things piled up one after the other.

Before VidCon, I knew absolutely that you were a lesbian who was not attracted to men, at all. After VidCon, I felt like you’re a lesbian who’s just not attracted to me

Before VidCon, I felt like I was the one guy who you trusted and that we could share any and everything. After VidCon, I felt like there were things kept from me and that I hadn’t been as trusted or as special as I once thought.

Before VidCon, I’d hoped (but never expected) that we would be able to explore sexuality and being sexual without having sex. I get that you’re a lesbian and I never expected you to be into me, physically. At the same time, women have vibrators and they’re not into metal and plastic. I brought up the topic three specific times and you seemed uncomfortable with it so I dropped it. As much as I love giving pleasure, it’s not a deal breaker for me. After VidCon, part of the betrayal I felt was due to my perception that you were willing to explore sexuality with a man and that man wasn’t me. Suddenly it wasn’t “oh she’s a lesbian and I’m the special guy who’s still not a girl” it was “oh.. I get it, I’m the punk/chump and she’s just into different types of men”

Before VidCon, I felt like we could be physically affectionate and that it was just a slow process because we don’t get to see each other that often. After VidCon, I realized that you’re just not comfortable being physically affectionate with me because I’m male.

Before VidCon, I thought you were proud to be in the relationship we’d built together. After VidCon, I felt like you were ashamed to admit that you had a boyfriend.

Side note: This was compounded later by your comments about you not being in a “real relationship” since Victoria. I get it, I’m not a chick. I don’t like feeling that I’m just a place holder until you find what you really want.

There’s more but I’m not trying to list every single thing. Also, it’s important to understand that I’m talking about how things FEEL/FELT to me. I understand that reality is frequently different from ones perception and further that one can FEEL one way about something in the moment but understand that the momentary feeling is not the totality of the situation.

Also, I’m not asking for you to change anything. I’m JUST taking about how I feel.

Because of the recent upheaval, I’ve been trying to figure out where I sit. We had a huge emotionally draining conversation and then I stopped hearing from you and wasn’t able to talk to you and I’m left drifting. You mentioned needing to take a break (from social media) and I respect that. I stopped calling you. We message occasionally and I’m trying not to be needy but I’m feeling super insecure.

You talked to Jelly after all the BS she pulled and I’m thinking “why can she talk to Jelly during this ‘break’ but not me?”. It’s not like I actually care but my insecurities start taking over. 

Same thing with Dillon being at your place. I look at the comments in your stream and think “yeah.. no one knows that I’m her BF and they think this guy (who looks more like Dino than he looks like me) is her boyfriend”. Worse, I’m thinking “soooo she sends out multiple snaps with her and Dillon together but never sent one with the two of us.” Again, I don’t REALLY care but my insecurity starts going all over the place with this like that. I feel like a dick for not just being happy that Damien has a friend he’s comfortable with but in the back of my head I feel like the breakthrough we had before I left was usurped by this new thing with Dillon and that hurts. It shouldn’t and I should get over myself but the FEELINGS are that. Also, I didn’t know who Dillon was or even that he’d be staying with you. As a partner I try to let you know about all of the major things going on in my life and I feel like I don’t get the same in return.

The reasons I can’t spend much time in your live stream(s)

==========================================================

1. It’s hard not being able to call you and talk about life-partner stuff and then try to compete for your attention with everyone else. It’s shitty when you’re sober and maddening when you’re drunk. Today, for example, I waited for you to end your live so that we could talk about the Chucky Doll and it never happened because you were drunk and didn’t know what you were saying or doing.
2. It’s demeaning to be your boyfriend and listen to you go on about “…I’m a lesbian…you don’t have anything that can satisfy me….” or “…no no because you have that silly ridiculous thing called a penis…”. I get that it’s your way of rebuffing unwanted advances from men. It would be nice if I didn’t have to be emasculated at the same time.
3. I’m broken. I don’t know if you realize how many times you say “that’s （so hot” to guys when you battle them or when they’re in your box. It used to never bother me. Now it triggers severe anxiety
4. The person you are when you’re drunk. I just can’t watch that anymore. It used to be a rarity and now it’s the norm. It would be one thing if you took responsibility for the things you do and say but several times you’ve been like “I was drunk… I don’t know” or “noooo I didn’t say that… did I?”
5. I don’t know where I fit in anymore.

Wrapping up

===========

Much of the above is on me to figure out. I don’t want you to feel like I’m asking for anything from you other than understanding. I know that you love me. Knowing alone doesn’t keep me from feeling certain ways at certain times.

What is it that you want?

————————————————————————-

When I got into this relationship with you I knew that things would be challenging. There’s the distance; The schedules we have to honor and work with (your son’s, my wife’s, etc); our politics; the emotional baggage that we each bring.

I didn’t start a fake relationship with you. I love you and I’m committed to you. What I want out of our relationship is love, physical (non-sexual) and emotional affection, duty (meaning my duty to you… a sense of knowing what I can do for you), honor (honoring each other as partners in life), respect ( I wouldn’t allow someone to disrespect you; I would hope you’d not let someone disrespect me), and a long future that we plan and build together.

I don’t know what you want out of our relationship. 

Side notes:

1. on respect: I say “I would hope…” because you seem to be completely dismissive of the issues of (dis)respect that occur between men. When I mentioned the thing about me supporting Dino (by gifting, and promoting his streams, and talking to him about working out together) you asked when I was doing all that as if the timeframe was relevant to the issue of disrespect. I knew of Dino in Feb and was trying to support him through May when he disappeared. That’s only four months. It doesn’t matter when within the four months you two started having your sexual conversations. What matters, for me, is that I supported your “friend” and that “friend” disrespected our relationship. I don’t care whether he did it in March or May. His conduct was disrespectful to our relationship and I will forever have an issue with him as a result. I don’t expect you to really get it but the way you dismissed it was disconcerting. I’m telling you that there as an issue of respect that’s important to me and you poo-poo’d it. If you don’t understand it, I would hope you’d have enough respect for me and my calm and rational demeanor to understand that there is a real issue there even if you can’t SEE the issue yourself. Similarly, Jelly was disrespectful to me (as an individual) and to us as a couple and as friends who extended several courtesies to her. I’m baffled as to why you continued to speak to her given that she had disrespected you partner and made no attempts to make amends. If someone disrespects you once, they are out of my life period. If they want to apologize and you accept it, cool. If not, they can GTFO. That’s the type of honor and respect I have for you.
2. You’ve rewritten the history of us becoming an item. The last time it came up you said “…when you asked, I was like well yeah we’re basically already like boyfriend and girlfriend…”. For the record: You, in your live stream told me that I was now your boyfriend. I said “don’t play, you know I already love you.” You said “no I’m serious, tell Waterbear that you’re my boyfriend”. To which I replied “ok, if you’re serious, send me your address and I’ll get you a now-we’re-dating gift”. That’s when you sent me your mother’s address in Encinitas and that’s when I ordered the flowers. I wanted to follow up with you when we met in person to talk about expectations and it was important for me to let you know that 1) I respected your boundaries and who you were as a person and 2) that I’m not interested in casual/disposable relationships. I’m in this for the long haul as a dedicated partner.

This is a response I had to Arianna about more of her BS. At this point I hadn’t identified her manipulation techniques. She kept asserting that things were my fault when I’d done nothing wrong.

I thought quite a bit about your response and I wanted to make sure I gave due consideration to the things you mentioned.

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

First, I’d like to clarify the actual issue I was bringing up because It seems to have been conflated with “you talk to person X more than me” and it’s really two other separate issues.

We don’t speak that often and not speaking to you causes me anxiety. I’m a protector and a problem solver. I feel disconnected and useless when I don’t know what’s going on.
There are times that I expect (based on your words/actions) or need to talk to you but can’t.
Example A: When you said “I’ll call you back later” the other day. I had needed to talk to you about some trip planning. You didn’t call me back but you did go live. That leaves me with the feeling that going live is more important than keeping your word to call me back.
Example B: When I was trying to place the order for your Good Guy Doll. I had asked you about the specifics of the order in your live stream and you said you’d end your live to call me. I never heard from you. In both cases I was waiting and ended up feeling like a fool because instead of talking to me you were live streaming and getting drunk.
Example C: I was trying to talk to you some time after I got out of the hospital and I couldn’t. When I finally got ahold of you it was like we couldn’t talk freely because you had company (Dylan was over). You asked me to join your live later which I did but it was frustrating trying to have an actual conversation with you while Dylan was there (physically) distracting you and people in your stream divided your attention.
Example D: We spoke the morning before the wedding and I just wanted to catch up on some things. You told me you had to go and said you’d call me back after the wedding and I never heard from you.

So those are the actual issues that I was trying to communicate. I never thought you talked to Dylan more than me, and even if you did, I’m not jealous like that. I hope you talk to people more than me because I don’t talk to you that often. The issues I have with Dylan are complex and nuanced. I should probably not have mentioned him because some of those issues deal with my insecurities and some deal with the stuff I mentioned above. It’s his connection to the above that has me resent him as a symbol of me not being able to talk to you when I need(ed) to. Additionally I resent him for other reasons.

That whole part of the conversation was one big misunderstanding. I get that your perception of that conversation shaped and affected you in ways that can’t be undone. At the same time, what I was actually saying and what you thought I was saying were two completely different things. I never cared about my image. The point I was trying to make is that people will do fucked up things based on incomplete or incorrect understandings of relationships and such. Example: the fuck-wit who tried to block me from leaving the party with you because he didn’t know I was your boyfriend. Imagine if you weren’t coherent enough to nod “yes” when asked if you knew me. Imagine if it had been a cop instead of just some fuck-wit at the party. I put my life in your hands every time we are out together because the assumption by many is that we don’t belong together so obviously you must be the victim and I the aggressor. Applied to the conversation we were having at the time: it’s a matter of life and death if someone (say Dino) expects to be able to approach you and I intervene. There’s no way to know how they will respond. If you’re intoxicated and can’t articulate then it becomes a matter of his word against mine because no one else knows that I’m your boyfriend. If punches are thrown and we both say “she’s with me” people are going to assume that I’m the one being untruthful and that’s dangerous. That’s the point I was making. It’s not bout my image. It’s about how I’m seen.