After receiving my note about what I needed moving forward Arianna tried to do more gas lighting. For those that don’t know Arianna is a manipulative piece of shit. She tries to figure out the exact right things to say to people to make them trust her and then she systematically breaks them down. This is nothing new. It’s what abusive men do to their partners all the time and it’s well understood. Below you’ll see, first, her response which is long, rambling, and incoherent. Below that you’ll see my response to her.
When I didn’t get a phone call from you I canceled the flight. I didn’t read your ramble right away because I figured it would be more of the same BS with you rewriting history and attacking me for things I didn’t actually say or do. here’s an example:
” I just screamed at damien because of YOU”
No, you screamed at Damien because you have shitty coping mechanisms, a habit of straw man making and ad hominem attacks, misplaced anger, and difficulty communicating. That’s not an attack on you just an observation stated plainly. Take responsibility for your own shit
and another example:
Blue: I do not recall a single instance of you telling me that anything that *I* did was disrespectful to you. I do remember you attacking me baselessly for shit you thought I was saying when that’s not at all what I’d actually said but even then you never brought up an issue of respect just blindly and incorrectly rage filled drivel.
Orange: I’m not DEMANDing anything. I’m telling you what I need if you want my participation. If you don’t want my participation you can always walk away. You could stand your ground and watch me walk away. It’s a choice. You can do what you want.
Red: This is more of your history rewriting. We never said anything of the sort. What we had “CLEAR COMMUNICATION” about was:
- That you were concerned that “advertising” the fact that you had a boyfriend would make you less able to pursue relationships with lesbians because you felt that many lesbians would judge you.
- The conversation was very specifically about lesbians and we talked about you not changing your status on meetme after the breakup with Victoria
- You later said that you’d never deny being in a relationship with me and that even though you don’t advertise the fact that you have a boyfriend you always tell people when they ask that “yes PuddyTat is my boyfriend”.
- Do you have any idea how many videos people have sent me from your live streams where you outright and flatly deny being in a relationship or having a boyfriend or being with me? I’ve heard you call me a “dear friend” or a “boy….friend”.
- We were in a non-monogamous relationship which you identify as “polygamist”, which meant that we could both pursue relationships with others
- Again, there’s a difference between pursuing relationships with others and denying the relationships you’re in. I mentioned this when we first talked after I sent you the text message about how you had declared me your boyfriend and that we should figure out what that meant for both of us.
- let me be clear again: The issues with Dino and Dylan were never about whether you’d fucked them. It was about your marginalization of my role in your life.
- I do a lot for you. I put up with a ton of shit from you. No one goes out of their way to be as courteous and considerate as I am for you only to be attacked, lied to, and abused the way you do me. All this and you expect me to sit by like an idiot while you deny that I’m your boyfriend? dafuq??
- That you were not interested in doing anything with men in general (including me) but that if you were to do something you’d want to do it “with my boyfriend” and that you
- You know that you should have told Dino about us (which you admitted in our last conversation) and you know that you should have told me about the conversations with Dino (which you also admitted)
- You have been physically intimate with Dylan who’s only a friend but not with me who was your “boyfriend” I am not wiling to be in a relationship with that disparity. I’m just not. It violates what we had actually talked about and agreed to and its selfish bullshit for you to think that is ok.
Look, it’s apparent that you don’t have the ability to give me what I want in a relationship and that has nothing to do with sex or you being a lesbian. It has to do with your complete lack of integrity and accountability. I love you. I really do. I want you to be happy. I thought I could be apart of that happiness but it’s apparent that you’re too selfish and self-absorbed for me to deal with. I can’t talk to you without you jumping to conclusions and attacking me. I’m not important enough for you to talk to me when I’m telling you that NEED to hear your voice because I’m lost and scared after you publicly betrayed, denied, and ended our relationship. Every time I stand up for myself you attack me.
I’m not interested in making life difficult for you. I want as little pain for you as possible in life because I actually fucking care about you. I honestly do not believe that you ever really cared for me. Maybe I’m mistaken but it looks like all you wanted was the benefits of having me think we were in a relationship while you go on and act like I’m basically a sugar daddy buying you shit left and right. That’s the most logical conclusion. I can’t say that it is a certainty but probability is very high.
I want you to have closure on things because I know how it can eat at a person to have unresolved issues and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone the women I spent a year devoted to who shat on my heart, my self-respect, and my wife’s honor.
“You know I think? I think I drove u fucking crazy because you have clearly never had a strong independent woman who sets her own boundaries.”
Do you have any idea how this statement impugns the integrity, honor, and character of my wife? You make these broad statements in anger and don’t understand that words ALWAYS mean something whether said in jest, in anger, in the fog or intoxication, always. I will not stand for anyone to disrespect my wife. For this, fuck you. An apology will not fix this. There is no fixing this we are done permanently.
I want you out of my life as quickly as possible at this point. I’m willing to give you closure but it had better be done quickly because fuck you.
Are you seriously that fucking delusional? I mean fuck at a certain point you’re too far divorced from reality for it to even be worth trying to communicate.
“At this point you should know how disrespectful I felt u were when u went on snap to begin with and literally aired our whole relationship status that is PERSONAL information to me.”
- No, you did that when you were live streaming with Dylan and said “This is my only boyfriend”. YOU gave everyone our relationship status at that moment. I only confirmed that I was not in a relationship with the person who’d disrespected me.
- it wasn’t your PERSONAL information. I never put your name in it. In fact I went out of my way to avoid putting your name out there.
- It’s my story to tell. I can talk about me and what happened to me. You don’t get to police my views just because you happen to be connected to part of the tale.
“it is not my fault that the way we both perceive disrespect is completely different from each other. And I’ve always been this way, I DIDNT change, you did”
Yes, we obviously have a different perception of disrespect and that’s fine. The problem is that you’re not honest with yourself. You think you didn’t change but every time we speak about our relationship you rewrite a bit of history to justify something fucked up you did.
“That shit with Dylan that night, I’m sorry, but nothing happened and I did NOTHING WRONG. Even my sister says so.”
- You, broke your word to me about not denying our relationship – I”d say that’s something wrong
- You, were being physically intimate with him in the exact ways we had discussed being an issue for you with me “because I’m a lesbian” for which you attacked me – that’s wrong and a double standard
- Beyond that you kissed him, he smacked your ass, you tongue jousted, you had your mouth all over him: his shoulder, his neck, his ear. I have video of it all – another breaking of your word
- I don’t care what anyone says who only heard your distorted version. You yelled at me saying that you never did anything to insinuate that you two were together when you had called him your “only boyfriend”. I can’t trust anything you say to me let alone anything you say to anyone else. If your sister wants to weigh in she can hear my side of it and see the video I have.
“I did apologize for the affect it had on I despite me thinking it wouldn’t. I’m telling you now and I already told u how I felt disrespected and yet, u clearly don’t care as u want a PUBLIC apology when I have NEVER publicly done that IN MY LIFE and sorry, not about to disrespect myself just to make u feel better.”
You publicly insulted and marginalized me. I’m not willing to let that go unanswered. You can chose to justify it any way you want. The bottom line is that what you did was wrong, you even said as much when we spoke after the fact. You did it in a public and embarrassing way. The right and proper way to address it is a public apology. If you don’t have the integrity to do that the I chose not to have you in my life. It’s that simple.
“You want to bitch about ur mental state when I have a CHILD WITH SIBs COUNTING on me to be NOT HALLUCINATING and all u CAn think about is yourself and your mental state.”
No, I’m not bitching about my mental state. I’m letting you know the affect of your actions ON my mental state. This is a direct result of the shit you do by first betraying my trust and then refusing to have a rational conversation to address the violation of trust. This is all stuff that you are responsible for. I’m not saying that you’re to blame for the way I perceive things. What I’m saying is that YOUR actions created the situation and when I tried to talk to you about it you attacked me and dismissed me.
“Ok I was wrong. If I am the cause of ur mental illnesses going wrong, then you are DEFINITELY the cause of mine and the fact that I almost killed myself IS YOU’RE fault”
- No one mentioned mental illness with regard to me so please stop rewriting history and misrepresenting what I said (again)
- No, your shitty behavior (which you admitted you knew was shitty and wrong) caused you to feel guilty. Your shitty coping skills caused you to internalize and alienate. None of that is my fault. Learn to take responsibility for your own shit
“ur telling me all ur anxiety and shit is my fault? Well then, ever since that conversation at vidcon, I fuckin g tried to kill myself. It was because of u and how YOU MADE ME FEEL.”
No, I’m actually not saying that. What I said was that you created a situation and I have a complex related to that situation. When I tried to talk to you about it you were dismissive and when I told you that I had anxiety about it you didn’t seem to care based on your behavior. So 1) stop misrepresenting what I said and 2) stop attacking me baselessly
Let’s revisit the order of events:
- you betray my trust with Dino
- You start hanging out with Dylan
- I tell you that I have some specific concerns and issues with your conduct with Dylan given recent events including the issues with Dino
- You don’t listen and instead assume that I’m worry about you two fucking and say shit llike “we’re just friends” or “I talk to you way more than anyone else including Dylan” which does nothing to address my actual issues
- I let you know that it’s difficult for me to watch you hangout with Dylan because it plays on my insecurities related to the betrayal with Dino. I tell you that I have a complex and that Dylan is the trigger
- You go live with Dylan proceed to kiss him, bite him, lick him, hang all over him in a way that lovers do, and declare that he’s your “only boyfriend”
- I ask you (via text) whether there is anything going on between you two
- You yell at me and insult me saying that you thought I’d know you better and that you two are only friends and that you never did anything to insinuate that you two were ever together
- I show you a short clip of you saying he was your only boyfriend
- You attack me again claiming that didn’t show when you mentioned me (as if that was somehow relevant to the issue at hand– By the way that’s called “moving the goal post” on the list of logical fallacies)
From my perspective, and admittedly it is MY perspective: everything above is a result of your actions and assumptions. You do something fucked up, I try to communicate with you, you attack me. that creates an environment of anxiety.
On the other hand. You assert that I’m responsible for the shit that you do as if I control both my actions and yours. When you do something fucked up I don’t blame you for my response. I take responsibility for my own actions. You want to blame your actions on me because you don’t know better ways to deal with shit. That’s not my fault… it’s yours for being an adult and not learning how to be a decent fucking person.
“And yet all you can talk about it is your insecurity. Wow. How fuckin selfish of u”
Again another baseless attack. I think it’s pretty evident that this is a pathetic attempt to deflect. I won’t spend further time on it
“How dare u hold yourself in such high esteem. I’m glad u have that confidence. But serious, who the hell do you think u are talking down at me like that because we have different opinions on disrespect.”
I’m the wounded party. I’m the person who was told publicly that they didn’t matter because Dylan was your only boyfriend. I’m the person embarrassed that the woman who I’ve been loyal to and defended and stood by just discarded me so cavalierly. Most importantly I’m an person who understands what he will and will not tolerate in a relationship. I wasn’t “talking down to you”. I was standing up for myself. YOU ended our relationship with your words and actions. I was responding with it takes for me to consider being in a new relationship. If you’re too blinded by selfishness to see that and understand that then I don’t know what to tell you.
“U have done NOTHING but disrespect me, publicly saying things about our relationship on snap without even asking me about it??? ID NEVER DO THAT TO YOU BECAUSE ITS SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL.”
Hypocrisy much? So at first you say “I did nothing wrong even my sister says so” Then you’re like “it’s disrespectful to talk about my relationship status” when that’s what you did and you did it first and when you did it you denied the relationship you were in at the time… how TF do you even????
“Also. Not to mention the fact that ur DEMANDING physical contact from someone who was in a relationship with a serial rapist and u used to respect my intimacy issues. And this right here is a BIG REASON I don’t feel comfortable with u anymore. DEMANDING INTIMACY?! Who the fuck do u think u are… seriously.”
Wow could you possibly be more delusional?
- I’m not demanding anything. You make it sound as if we’re in a locked room and I just told you to get naked and wrap your body around mine. What I actually said was “If we’re going to be together…” No one is making you do anything or demanding that you do anything. All I’m doing is stating what I will and won’t accept if you want a relationship with me. That’s perfectly valid and fuck you for distorting that in such a fucked up and vile manner
- The fact that you were in a relationship with a serial rapist has nothing to do with me. Yes I’m sympathetic to it but stop waving your victim flag as if I’m somehow further victimizing you because
- I’m talking specifically about non-sexual physical intimacy which is clear from the context of what I wrote. The sort that you seem perfectly fine sharing with Dylan and Jelly but not with your “boyfriend”
- You’re not the only victim of rape here. Fuck you for insinuating that I’d be so insensitive
It’s easy to distort what someone says and argue against that distortion (that’s The Straw Man on that list of logical fallacies). If you have an issue what what I actually said I’m open to hearing it.
Since you mentioned “feel[ing] comfrotable…anymore” let me state that I don’t trust you anymore. Your delusional self has equated me (in words) with the conduct of a rapist. As a black male I do not trust you (a skinny white women) with my safety.
“On top of the fact that u practically broke up with me on fucking Snapchat to ALL YOURE friends who you’re image is so very clearly more important to you than my feelings and MY SANITY. Which. No offense you REALLY CLEARLY do not care about.”
No, you broke up with me when you announced to the world that Dylan was your “only boyfriend”. And yes, I care about your sanity but no matter what I do or say you’ll distort it to be the victim.
“Telling me I lied when the truth is, I told you EVERYTHING about Dino, just late. It was fucked up but I lied through omission, not deception and then I told u EVERYTHING. Which isn’t lying anymore and we should have been past this a long time ago but u just kept stringing it o it for no reason. We’ve talked about it enough for it to be over and done with and we clearly still disagree which is BOTH OUR FAULTS, and now u wanna push that shit onto Dylan?”
- The issue with Dino wasn’t ONLY that you told me late but if you haven’t understood that by now there’s no fucking hope
- You don’t know how to fucking listen. Yes we talked about Dino and we talked about the fact that the Dino issue created trust issues. You completely disregard the issues of trust. We should have been able to rebuild trust but you just dismissed it. That is why Dylan is an issue.
- Every time I tried talking to you you attacked me and dismissed my concerns without actually listening and understanding what I was saying
- We could have been past this but you weren’t capable of showing me the respect and consideration that I deserved
“Btw I’d never disrespect you (well what I find disrespectful) and break up with u and have to hear it over Snapchat.”
Right you’d do it over MeetMe instead
“And honestly. U seriously don’t give a fuck about Damien.”Arianna, fuck you for this statement. I will never forgive you for making that ridiculous assertion.
“Oh wait. One last thing. I NEVER used ANY of your recourses on anybody else. EVER. Except Damien. And you have damien things personally. OK NOW IM DONE”
- I wasn’t claiming that you had. I was (for the last fucking time) simply telling you what I would need if we were going to consider having a relationship again.
- The reason it came up on the list is that you seemed perfectly fine to use my resources for the women you were pursuing (Jelly, Ms. Janz, TayTay, Anna, etc)
- You did ask me to buy Liquor for Dylan like an insensitive selfish asshole RIGHT after I tried to talk to you about my insecurities and complex
- You did take the edibles I’d bought to a party to “share” them with other people. You’re so fucking selfish that you don’t even realize the selfish shit you do
“And it sucks, but u lashed out at me too in that letter. I felt attacked. I felt like u were trying to control me. I felt like you are trying to change me and blaming me for the way I am. Ur right. I am a child. I never claimed not to be. But u always knew that didn’t you?“
No, I didn’t lash out at you. I spoke plainly and matter of factly. You perceive that I’m lashing out every time I stand up for myself. I can’t help your fucked up percdeptions.
“Whether u change or not is not my problem, u either continue to love who you fell in love with or u break up. And u did break up with me on Snapchat. U said “as for my relationship with her, we are not together because of the disrespect, and I refuse to be with someone who is so disrespectful.” And we have different opinions on what is respectful in an open relationship and what is not”
Ok so let me get this straight. You go on your live and tell the world that Dylan is your only boyfriend and that’s not breaking up with me but I go on Snapchat and tell the 50 or 60 people connected to me that I’m not in a relationship with the woman who just told the world that she’s Dylan is her only boyfriend and somehow I’m the asshole who’s telling people about your personal business?
- I asked you about it and you refused to talk to me (at the time)
- When I couldn’t in touch with you and you weren’t responding to me I finally made a statement that only confirmed what you had already declared
- If Dylan is your only boyfriend the obviously I am not
I don’t understand how you think you can turn this around to be me breaking up with you on snap. You did that when you said Dylan was your only BF