Month: November 2019

This is only a (not-so)quick breakdown of the drama milestones between myself and Arianna. It’s a quick accounting for the purposes of establishing a timeline. I don’t have time to go into detail on each issue. Other posts will cover that. If you just want to know “what happened” this is the post for you. If you want “proof” of anything, there’s some here but more will be provided in subsequent posts.

Prologue

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I don’t want to be making this post. I’ve tried multiple times to engage cooler heads in Arianna’s life to avoid getting to this point but she’s a master manipulator and they all thought that I had some hand in this drama. I’ll state it for the record: I’ve done nothing to antagonize Arianna ever. She did get upset with me when I threatened to expose her lies by posting images and she claimed that the reason she wanted them down was because of the risk of losing her son. The reality is that she wanted to make sure that no one knew she was lying because she valued her new relationship with Anna over telling the truth. That’s fine it’s her choice to make but because she created an environment where her followers feel comfortable making death threats against me I’ve had to spend 4 days talking to law enforcement and letting them pour through my phones. Nothing I post here is anything that law enforcement in 3 different jurisdictions hasn’t seen already.

Despite what some will think. This site isn’t here to harass or embarrass her. I never wanted to be in the position of making this information publicly available. Arianna let her delusions get the best of her and because she has a fear of being abandoned she refused to clear the air and come clean about the fantastical assertions she made when she was being emotional and irrational. I have no problem with her loosing her shit and lashing out. It’s part of the package I accepted when I got involved with her. I do have a problem with her not telling the truth once she’s calmed down. The only reason this site exists is because she wouldn’t tell the truth so I have to. That’s the only thing I ever asked for — the truth.

Our Relationship

I was a friend and confidant to Arianna beginning around spring 2018. She ended up in a toxic relationship with a fellow streamer named Victoria. I knew and supported them both and when they started having problems Arianna would confide in me. At some point (around October 2018) Victoria and Arianna broke up. Weeks later she declared that I was her boyfriend in one of her livestreams. I brushed it off as her being either drunk or emotional (maybe both) and didn’t say anything until she made the same declaration less than a week later while I was participating in her live stream.

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We met up in December 2018 and hashed out a few things about our relationship. I won’t go into great detail here but there were a few key points relevant to the rest of this post.

1. We’re both non-monogamists. She identifies as “polygamist” and I identify as “polyamorous”. I’m not going to spend time explaining those here. Suffice it to say that I’m married and my wife is fully informed of the dating that I do. Arianna is/was free to date anyone she wanted. I made no claims on her body. The one thing I’d asked was that she be upfront and honest with me about anything sexual that happened with men. She always told me that she had no desire to be with men and that if anything sexual was going to happen with a male it would be with me. That was her claim, not mine.
2. She’s a lesbian and not interested in sex with men. I am a guy. I’ve been in multiple asexual relationships and that’s how I approached this relationship with Arianna. She later told me that she’d be willing to have sex while she’s drunk and I told her that I’m not comfortable with doing anything drunk that we don’t do sober. She insisted that it was ok and that she was telling me then that I had her permission to engage in sexual activity if she initiated it when she was drunk and I told her that I’m just not interested in that sort of thing. I’ve had multiple lesbian girlfriends and FWBs in the past that were interested in receiving oral pleasure without any penetrative sex. When I mentioned that as a possibility she said she’d consider it but we’d have to build up comfort and trust. For my part I viewed out relationship as strictly asexual.
3. I’m not out as Poly to my family but I’d rather be outted as poly than to deny having a relationship with her when it comes to my family. My wife’s family is a different matter and it’s not up to me to out us. She understood and mentioned that she wouldn’t feel comfortable advertising our relationship on her social media outlets (meetme/Skout, Instagram, etc) because she felt she’d be judged by lesbians as not being a “real lesbian” and she wanted to find a lesbian wife. Specifically a lesbian wife because she had a history of bixesual/pansexual women leaving her for men. I was fine with her not advertising our relationship as long as she didn’t deny our relationship. She told me that her concern was only with Lesbian AND that once she had built up trust and understanding with the women she was interested in seeing she could then tell them about our relationship.
   1. Something to note here. When we had the conversation it was very specifically “with lesbians” that she would wait to explain our relationship. I found out later that she’d basically lied about us telling everyone that I was “just a friend” or “a special friend who helps me out…” making it sound like I was her sugar daddy.
   2. She later claimed that she and I had “Clear communication about the fact that we didn’t have to tell anyone about our relationship” which is utterly absurd. We never agreed to any such thing. Anyone who knows me would know that I’m not going to invest my time and energy into building a life partnership with someone who would hide the fact that we’re together.
4. This is a life partnership. I wasn’t interested in being just a boyfriend or a passing fancy. I prefer committed relationships where we can work together to build a better future. She and I both agreed that this was a real relationship built with the intent to last for decades. We’d work out our issues like adults and build an environment where she and her son could have consistency and stability given her history of volatile relationships with women.

Danny/Vidcon [June – July 2019]

Things were mostly ok from December 2018 up through June 2019. I’d go back and forth to see her in Southern California from time to time and in June it felt like we’d rounded a corner on physical affection. I never pushed or pressured her to have physical contact with me. I’d kiss her shoulder from time to time but that was about it for me initiating anything physically. The first few nights I was there on the June trip she would lie against me in bed, which she hadn’t done previously. I made a mental note to bring it up later.

A few days into my June trip decided to drink and go live. I ordered food for us and we had fun during the stream. Unfortunately she has a habit of getting blackout drunk. She’s frequently abusive and there were three separate incidents that happened with her in that state while I was there.

1. One night she bit me, threw food at me, and started trying to stab me with crab legs. When I told her about it she was mortified
2. That same night she came on to me sexually in a really aggressive manner. I mean SUPER aggressive. Like an idiot I tried to reason with her. When I said it wasn’t a good idea she got abusive again and started calling me names and pushing me.
3. Another night, similar thing. She got drunk, grabbed my hand and put it on her crotch. When I asked what she was doing she said something like “god I wanna fuck a hot chick” when I said “I’m not a hot chick” she said “no you’re not” with this really cruel laugh. Then she asked me if I thought I could “eat pussy withouth trying to fuck me” it was all rather humiliating and I chose not to bring it up to her.

VidCon week

In July I rented a house in Orange, CA for VidCon which she and I were both attending. The morning before we were supposed to leave from her place in San Diego County, she tells me about a secret relationship she’d had with a guy named Danny (not his real name).

According to her: She and Danny had been having sexually explicit conversations and she’d developed a crush on him but didn’t want to act on anything physically with him. She felt bad and asked if I’d just make sure to stay by her incase Danny showed up expecting her to make good on their sexual fantasy talk.

Danny never showed up at VidCon so THAT part became a non-issue. At the end of the trip I tried to talk to Arianna about a number of issues including the betrayal with Danny (again, not his real name) and instead of being compassionate about the situation that she had created, she became verbally abusive. From that point forward, everytime I tried to mention anything related to us or our relationship she got abusive. Later you’ll see messages where she refers to either Danny (I’ve edited images that have his name and changed documents to say ‘Danny’ ) or VidCon and this is what she’s talking about. my attempt to get some clarity about our relationship after she betrayed my trust with another man for which I was subjected to abusive language.

Eventually she did at least own the fact that she created a fucked up situation.

Side Note: I now believe that all of the extra physical attention was just her guilt about the goings on with Danny. I’m not sure that’s the case but that’s what seems to make the most sense to me.

Almost dying [August 2019]

In August I was taking a road trip from Chicago,Il to Houston, TX and when I stopped at a gym to take a shower I almost passed out. After a call to my wife, I drove myself to the ER and they noticed blood clots in my chest. The hospital I was at was in Ardmore, OK and I had to be flown to Oklahoma City to be monitored and undergo a risky procedure. I called my wife to give her updates and she tried calling Arianna to let her know what was going on. My wife never got in touch with her but I did RIGHT before they put me under for the procedure. I explained to Ari what had happened and that I just wanted to talk to her one last time before they shoved a straw up my groin trying to save my life. She said she loved me and 6 hours later started asking me to help her with a computer that I’d built for her back in December. it sat around for 6 months and THAT DAY was the day she decided to try to use it and because she’d forgotten her password she bugged me while I was trying to stay relaxed and recover from having blood clots sucked out from around my heart and lungs.

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She never checked up on me while I was in the hospital and it was a few days before she finally asked how I was doing.

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Think about how selfish a person has to be to have someone call them to say “Hey I may die. I just wanted you to know I love you in case I don’t make it out of this procedure alive,” and they don’t even followup for days 4 days.

Abuse and Bullshit

At some point I had to write out my feelings about a number of things going on between Arianna and myself and I sent her several benign messages to let her know what was on my mind. Each time she would respond with abusive language and attack me.

Only Boyfriend [ October 4, 2019]

Finally in early October I get a series of text messages from people on meetme watching Arianna stream with a male friend of hers named Dylan. While they were streaming together someone asked if she had a boyfriend and this was her response:

When I asked her whether there was anything going on between her and Dylan, I got this as a response.

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When I sent her the video clip she doubled down on the abusive approach.

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I tried to get her to talk to me so that I could get clarity on what was going on but she avoided me for almost two full days.

In the meantime I addressed the issue on SnapChat:

Some time after that she finally decides to respond to me with senseless drivel turning things around so that she’s the victim. She’s really good at making it seem like she’s the victim after she does something fucked up.

Eventually she and I spoke and she apologized saying that she knew that what she did was fucked up. She wanted to try to ‘fix things’ since our relationship hadn’t been the same after VidCon. I told her, in that conversation that our previous relationship ended the second she denied me and that if we were going to have a new relationship I’d want to get some concerns addressed upfront. She suggested we put off discussing anything about it until she was here in Chicago. I told her that I’d write out my concerns for her to view at her leisure and urged her to view my story on SnapChat to see if she had any problems with what I said there.

This was her response to the snap story:

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This is the (partial) contents of the note I sent her:

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Her response was more of the same abusive languge and behavior except that now she added delusional assertions claiming that I was making DEMANDS. Let’s pause her for a second and take stock of the situation:

1. My GF betrayed my trust by having a secret relationship with another man behind my back
2. She’s denied our relationship in public, humiliating me in the process
3. When I asked her about it she got abusive and claimed that she never did the thing she actually did do
4. When I called her on her false assertion she continued to be abusive and attack me
5. When I tell her that I’m lost and need to hear her voice, she responds by telling me how the guy she’s spending time with is more important than addressing my fears/concerns.
6. When I stand up for myself and let her know that I’m not willing to be trod upon she claims that I’m making DEMANDS instead of simply telling her the conditions for my participation in a relationship.
7. Eventually she admitted that what she did was fucked up and disrespectful but for some reason thinks it disrespectful for me to ask for a public apology.

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This response came in when I was waiting to talk to her to finalize her travel plans to Chicago. Instead of calling me, she sent this senseless ramble and I had to cancel her arrangements because she wouldn’t talk to me.

It’s all delusional ranting. The “clear communication” she claims, never happened (see above for explanation). Pay special attention to the parts that she claims are “DEMANDS”. You’d think I had asked her to submit to forcible sexual contact but in fact my words were:

If we’re going to be “together”, all of the above plus:

I’m not interested in ‘dating’ only in ‘partnering’ for life. That means a whole different approach to  commitment and responsibility in the relationship — There is a difference between polygamy and not caring. I’m fully in support of an open relationship but open means open communication as much as it means open to exploring relationship with other people.

I’m not taking a back seat on physical intimacy anymore. If you can’t be comfortable being physical (not sexual) with me then you don’t deserve my time and attention

Start of the Arianna Driven Drama [Oct 22, 2019]

A few days later she and I try talking to resolve some issues but she had invited company over to her place and wanted to put OUR conversation on hold. I was fine with this because honestly I just wanted closure so that I could move on with my life and get her out of it. There was no going back at this point given the way I’d been treated. While I was waiting for her to get back to me I noticed her announcement on SnapChat that she was in a new relationship with Nugget, the girl she’d invited over during the time that she would have been in Chicago with me. I call her out on the odd timing and the fact that she had JUST told me, days ago, that she wasn’t going to discuss her relationships in public anymore yet there she was announcing that she was with Nugget after blowing me off and denying our relationship.

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Notice how she claims that I “rejected” her. She decided not to help me finalize her travel arrangements effectively canceling her trip to Chicago. How she can have the gall to claim I rejected her is beyond me. This is a common pattern with her though. Every time there is conflict she falls back to one of two modes:

1. “I’m a mother” / “I’m a single mother” / “I’m a single mother of a child with special needs”
2. Making a patently false assertion that if she says it with enough conviction, she thinks it’ll become true or at least go unchallenged

This was her ranting on her live stream right after I sent that text message

I was hurt but I thought “finally I can move on”. The next day I get a bunch of new friend requests on SnapChat. I accept a few of them and one turns out to be a girl that Arianna had asked me to help. Arianna and I had an understanding about her wanting to hookup with women and I was happy to facilitate. Anna was a girl that I’d tried to help back in December but she seemed obsessed with trying to get me to send her large sums of money. Even though I didn’t end up helping Anna back then, I did continue to visit her live streams and send her gifts. I was her #1 gifter for almost a year until recently when Arianna surpassed me.

Anyway, when I saw that it was Anna who had added me on SnapChat, I figured I’d do her a solid and let her know that I’m not on speaking terms with Arianna. I never had a personal issue with Anna despite the fact that Arianna had lampooned Anna and avoided her.

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The response I got from Anna was vile and detestable. That’s about as nicely as I can put it:

In the video Anna claims that Arianna told her that I was trying to get people to hate her (Ari). When I confonted Arianna about it she said that she knew I’d never do that but that her emotions got the best of her. I made the mistake of thinking that Arianna would be an adult and explain to Anna that I’d never done anything wrong to her. Unfortunately Arianna is far from an adult.

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Attempt to clear the air

I thought that it would be nice to try to clear the air between Anna and myself so I went into her live stream and asked if we could talk. There was no malice just a genuine desire to burry the hatchet. She decided to get nasty and start spreading vicious lies about me.

I contact Arianna who refused to do anything about Anna except for tell me to ignore it.

Let’s take another second here to pause and find out where we are:

1. Arianna, who has a history of being abusive and delusional, brings in a third party to our conflict under false pretenses. She lied to Anna telling her that I was doing something I wasn’t (trying to get people to hate her).
2. When that person attacks me and defames me by spreading lies, Arianna’s response is “it’s not my job to say my friend lied”
3. And she claims that it’s an issue between Anna and myself.
4. She’s more concerned with offending Anna (who attacked me without provocation) than telling the truth and setting the record straight.
5. I gave Arianna a year of my life as a dedicated and attentive partner. It was all bullshit to her but it was real for me. Her allowing Anna to disrespect our relationship in this way with the things she’s saying is a bridge to far. I can never reconcile with Arianna based on that alone.

I tell Arianna that that’s not an acceptable response. If she won’t tell the truth, I will. I start posting our private communications to let it be known that what Anna is saying is a lie.

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At some point Arianna sees my posts and claims that one of them could get her child taken away if seen by the wrong person. What she’s actually doing is trying to censor me so that Anna and everyone else doesn’t realize how shitty a person she’s being. I offer to let her edit the images and send them back to me and she refuses.

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Instead she runs to her mother’s place, tells her mother that PuddyTat is being mean and I get the following messages.

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After that I don’t contact Ariana anymore. People sent me screenshots and recordings of her live stream where she’s talking shit about me but I mostly ignore things. I want to make it clear here that I got many many messages over the course of maybe a week and a half where Arianna was talking shit about me. It was a constant thing. She’d frequently say “a person” or “someone” but everyone knew that she was talking about me. This is the environment she built with her delusional ramblings. Every time someone would critique her behavior or harass her she’d act as if I had sent them and even say “oh I wonder who sent you.” This built an environment of hate and resentment toward me that based on nothing more than her idiocy and desire to be accepted by others.

Finally someone tells me that Arianna is going to get me killed by telling her followers that I’m trying to get her child taken away.

Then I start receiving death threats.

That’s about it

That is the entirety of my involvement with the Arianna conflict. I’ve left out the numerous times I reached out to people to try to deescalate the situation. I’ve not mentioned every single exchange, particularly those where I say things like “I want you out of my life, I wish you well”.

That’s not to say that my personal conduct in all of my dealings with her after the breakup were beyond reproach. I’m human and have emotions. When she let it be known that she cared more about upsetting Anna than telling the truth, I let it be known that she had broken faith with me. As a result I stopped caring about her (in toto), and I considered her an enemy and would not protect her from the consequences of her actions anymore. I stand by that to this day. I don’t care that she got with Anna, I’d been trying to facilitate that myself before all of this happened. I don’t care that she and I are not together anymore (I can’t believe I was so blind to all her bullshit). I do care that she didn’t have the strength of character to stand up and tell the truth. I also care that she allowed our relationship to be disrespected by one of her friends/partners, especially a friend/partner of hers that she asked me to help. Everything Anna says in that video is an insult to the relationship that Arianna and I had. Yes it’s over but for her to allow someone to shit on what we had built is unforgivable, for me. Anna seems to be intellectually about as bright the inside of a clogged sewer pipe. I don’t expect her to understand the gravity of her words. Arianna on the other hand should know enough to not abide that level of disrespect.

There is no fixing this. An apology won’t suffice. She and I will never be friends because of that. I would have left it alone though if she hadn’t incited people to start making death threats.

It wasn’t me

I know that she and her followers like to think that I’ve been behind the harassment that she’s seen in her live streams on MeetMe but I haven’t been. I can’t stand her. She’s frankly a disgusting human being and it pains me to watch her. I wish that weren’t the case. I used to love her but with the history of BS I’ve been subjected to because of her I just can’t bring myself to see her as anything other than a very shitty human being.

Also, two points that perhaps I shouldn’t make but I’ll go ahead and make them anyway:

First,I don’t have to harass her, or get people to hate her. I wanted her out of my life. Every time I tried to step away she did something to bring me back into contact with her. If I wanted to mess with her or fuck up her ability to livestream, I’d just shutdown her network. I built her network at her home. I can control it remotely if I were so inclined. I’m not and I haven’t but if I wanted to fuck with her it’d be easier to slow down her internet traffic or shut it off all together than to waste time talking shit about her. Alternatively, I’m a software developer who specializes in process automation and API design. What that means for the lay person is that I have the tools and skill set to automate harassment. If I wanted to harass her I would write bots to look for her streams and go in and spam automatically in perpetuity. If they got blocked/banned I’d have them respawn and create new fake accounts all automatically. She’s not worth my time.

Secondly, She and I spent a year together. I know all her dirty little secrets. If I wanted to get her kid taken away he would have been. Arianna knows that there are very specific things I know that are in fact actionable and could result in her kid being taken away from her. There may or may not be video of her live stream with her holding a gun to her head. There may or may not have been a conversation with her detailing how she was too drink to pick up her son but did it anyway. There may or may not be evidence of her being so drunk and fucked up after drinking while streaming that she forgot to pick up her son from school and had him waiting for an hour and a half alone. Anyone who wants to get her kid taken away can just watch her stream on any day that she drinks. It’s not hard.

She’s a drama queen and she lives to manipulate people’s sympathies. It’s much easier to get a “ohhh you poor baby” while saying “PuddyTat is trying to get my kid taken away” as opposed to “PuddyTat posted something that I’m afraid will expose me as an emotional and delusional piece of shit who turned her back on the one person who gave her everything and never asked for anything in return”

Maybe you think I’m going over the top there. This is what her ex GF had to say about her right after THEY broke up. I’m not the only one she’s done this to

Epilogue

I’ve left out many details. Some because, while they are important, they don’t contribute directly to the points raised here. I’ll probably cover them in other posts. Others were left out because I don’t have the sort of “hard evidence” to make them tent pole claims. I’m working on getting the evidence to for the following:

1. I mention above that Arianna would lie about our relationship and basically give people the impression that I was her sugar daddy. After i made my statement on SnapChat (October 7) I had several people reach out to me saying many things and I disregarded most of them. One person had audio of Arianna saying something like “Why do you think I’m with PuddyTat? I mean I’m not with him but he says he’s my boyfriend and yeah I let him. Do you know how much he does for me and my son?” she then proceeded to talk about how I order them groceries and food and buy special things for her son. I do not know where the audio came from. It sounded like it was at an event, maybe an industry dinner or something. The audio was played for me over a SnapChat call and I didn’t record it. I’ve asked the person for a copy but haven’t gotten a response. Part of me wonders whether it was at the MeetMe rooftop party at VidCon because it was very loud and difficult to make out most of what she was saying but it definitely was her. If you were there or know who made the original recording, please let me know.
2. If anyone has video of her live streams from mid-late October where she’s talking shit about me, I’d love to see it.